The Backpacker Cliques

Backpackers sometimes get a bad rap. We’re considered lazy, dirty bed bug riddled floozies that fill up all the seats on the chicken bus with our backpacks, float between tourist slums so we can drink cheap beer and tick off another place on our itineraries. We’re called cheapskates; spending as little money as possible to delay having to go back to the real world and do real things, like getting a job.

And it’s sort of true.

Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. But just because the majority of us portray some of the characteristics listed above, it doesn’t mean we’re all like that, all of the time.

Ahem.

It’s a very broad generalisation, but what I’ve noticed is that as well as that ‘backpacker group’ I’ve listed above,  there’s a few subgroups – the Hippies, the Lads, the Bogans and the Wankers –  so I’m going to jump right on the typecasting bandwagon and share some of my observations on these groups that I’ve come across during my travels. Allow me to put on my judging cap, strap yourself in and try a few of these pigeon-holes on for size;

The Lads (and ladettes)

Cashed up Brits are forces to be reckoned with. Generally found in SE Asia they’ve exchanged their pounds

Lads. Nature's idiots.

for about a gazillion Baht and are living like kings; Eating and drinking their way around town, though you’ll find them at the pubs more often than at the street markets. Often acting like drunk raging lunatics anytime after midday (which is about the time they wake up) you’ll rarely find the lad on the tour bus, but once you’re at the pub you can’t swing a cat sideways without hitting one. -they’re no doubt at the bar trying to pick up anything with boobs. Like a moth to a flame they all migrate to Ko Pha Ngan for the full moon party once a month, which means it’s a great time to see, well, any other place.

Likes: Alcohol buckets, pub curries and cheap cigarettes

Dislikes: Most other things – notorious whingers.

The Aussie Bogan

Southern Cross Tattoo? You my friend, are a Bogan.

Thailand and Bali are both incredibly cheap to get to from Australia, which means that even those on the dole can afford it, and the Aussie Bogans are out in force. Wearing wife-beaters (singlets) and sporting a mullet, these bogans are often found in the beach side pubs with the British lads, drinking cheap beer and watching the cricket. Bogans do like to get a bit of ‘culcha’ so there is the chance you’ll get stuck next to them on the mini bus to the Tiger Temple. Be prepared for some ear piercing Aussie vernacular when ‘Nicko’ yells at ‘Cheryl’ to ‘look after the fucking kids’, because ‘they’re given me the shits!’

Likes: Tribal Tattoos, Tiger Beer, a liberal approach to personal hygiene.

Dislikes: Immigrants, Hippies, New Zealanders, Bok Choy.

The Hippies

Old saying: A hippy a day... will give you syphilis.

You can spot them a mile away. Reggae Dub blaring from the speakers at the Rasta bar, mango shake in hand, The Hippies can be found lounging around all day on fancy triangle cushions discussing the who has the biggest dreadlocks and the differences between normal and organic chickpeas. Harmless more than anything, though you should be prepared  for enough glaring to make you want to crawl under a rock and cry, bucket loads of indignation and the faint odour of Roquefort – The Hippies feet (not unlike the rest of their bodies) are somewhat unaccustomed to warm water and soap.

Likes: Tofu, cheap dorms and armpit hair

Dislikes: Things that are not Tofu, cheap dorms or armpit hair

The Insular American

On my recent trip overseas I asked as all the Americans I crossed paths with if they knew the name of the Australian, Canadian, New Zealand or British Prime Ministers. Not one person got any of them right. Insular Americans tend not to know much about anything that doesn’t happen within their own borders. You could blame the education system, their mind numbingly stoopid TV (Survivor, anyone?) or the perhaps misguided perception that USA really is ‘Number 1’. It’s probably a combination of all. It’s sometimes frustrating sure, but don’t blame them too much, they are after all a product of their environment. Just smile, bite your tongue and have a bit of a chuckle about how much more worldly you are… which is an excellent segue to…

The Stuck-up Backpacker Wanker

Travel Wanker? we'll find out in 15 years or so.

They sleep on potato sacks in a horse stable instead of forking out for a dorm bed. Dinner is a bowl of cold rice.  They don’t fly, take the train, the bus or the boat, instead they hitch lifts on the back of  donkey drawn carts or float on a hand made bamboo raft dkown the Mekong. They can’t wait for you to finish talking so they can role their eyes and chastise you for being a ‘tourist’ and not a ‘traveller’. They’ve always done everything cheaper, harder, longer and immersed themselves further into anything you’ve ever done. Ever.

And they give me the shits. Easiest way to avoid them? –  Forget South America or South East Asia, go to Europe instead.

Likes: Hating other backpackers, not spending any money, taking the hardest, longest possible route as they believe it gives them ‘travel cred’.

Dislikes: Other people. Unless they can wrangle those other people into buying them dinner.

I see bits of myself in about three of those groups.

Notable mentions include The Lonely Planet Army, The Tight-Arse Angry Israeli’s, The Contiki Clubber’s and The Spoilt Princess/Daddy’s Credit Card Troupe.

* One final note regarding Insular Backpackers – it’s not just the American’s. I once had a conversation with a British girl who was quite surprised to hear that Australia had a queen. Imagine how her mind exploded when I explained that it was in fact the very same Queen that she had in the UK, and that the Canadians share her with us too.

Tagged as: americans, australians, backpackers, bogans, british, groups, hippies, israelis, lads, stereotypes, wankers